February 13, 2017

Nausea. Guilt. Shame.

A swell of  un-experienced emotions overwhelmed him as he ran. Before this moment, his emotions were mostly a mix of anger and frustration. But the intense pressure inside became too much. He had to release them.

But this? Cain did not expect this.

The frustration had been building for many years. Cain obeyed the laws, but it never seemed to be enough. God was just too demanding! And each time, Cain left angrier than before.

And yet there was Cain’s brother, “good ol’ Abel”, always grinning. The idiot had found favor with God and seemed to find fulfillment in life. But while Abel was drenched with God’s love, God was not happy with Cain.

And Cain knew it.

But this didn’t make sense to Cain! He did what God asked! He brought him a gift of his produce from the farm. Cain worked hard to bring the fruits and vegetables forth from the earth, and yet every time he gave them to God, God always made some comment about “doing what was right”.

Finally, Cain had had enough. He had to find release for this anger, frustration, rage, fury. He needed to be rid of these dark passions.

Then it dawned on him. If he got rid of his do-gooder brother, then he would finally be free of these emotions that broiled within his head.

“Hey Abel, come on out to my field, I’ve got something to show you.”

That's when it happened. The rock to the head. The struggle. The blood. The cries. The all-consuming passion to end his brother’s life.  Where was this evil coming from?

And then... silence.

As the sweat ran down his brow, Cain stumbled backwards to see his brother’s lifeless body. He had finally accomplished what he set out to do.

But the freedom he sought was far from him.

And so he ran. And ran. And ran. But no matter how far he ran, the image of Abel's lifeless body pursued him.

But even as the image haunted his escape, Cain knew he couldn’t admit to the crime. He had to cover it up.  No one could know what happened. No one.

Suddenly, he heard it. He instantly recognized the sound. Cain slowed down, trying to act non-chalant, but as he panted, Cain had a dreaded sense that the source of the sound was about to speak. But no matter what, Cain was keeping quiet... even to God.

Erin Bird Lead Pastor - Riverwood Church

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Riverwood Church, Waverly Iowa

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