Faith through Hardship

Today, we launch a new series entitled “Thankful for Hardship.” Each week, a member of the Riverwood family will share about a hardship they have faced in life. Yet, they will also share how God used those difficult days to grow their faith, and how they are thankful for the ways God worked.

First up is Cassy Townsley. Cassy is the wife of Matt (one of Riverwood’s elders), mom to Caleb, Tyler, Nathan, & Keely, and a bona fide coffee connoisseur.

Having a mom pass away is never easy, but losing my mom when I was only 33-years-old was something I never imagined happening as I grew up. My mom passed away from breast cancer (which runs in our family history) almost 10 years ago.

As she was battling cancer, as well as in the weeks after her funeral, Matt & I had an amazing support system: our church in Cedar Rapids, the growth group we were leading, my sisters (who are both followers of Jesus), and my in-laws. And yet, despite all of this wonderful support, those days were extremely hard. For weeks and months (especially in the days after her passing), I felt depressed. I was exceedingly emotional. Everyday tasks felt nearly impossible.

Yet in the midst of my pain, I was not alone.

I vividly remember the day I was at a conference, walking on a treadmill at the hotel (after receiving news my mom was not doing well), when God spoke to me through his Holy Spirit. He said, “Be still and know that I am God,” which comes from Psalm 46:10. That day, in the midst of my pain, I knew in a very real way, God was near. I just didn’t yet know how much I was going to need that verse in the coming days.

As I sought to be still in the midst of my mourning, I cried out to God and reached out to others. The more I cried out and reached out, the more I found myself dependent on this ever-present God. I could sense He was near through my two amazing sisters. I felt His presence through Matt, my best friend who is a very patient and servant-hearted husband. And, I saw His provision through a wonderful mother-in-law, who lost her own mother to cancer at a young age and could understand what I was experiencing.

At the time of my mom’s death, we were pursuing adoption. God's goodness allowed us to adopt two boys from Florida (Tyler and Nathan) within 6 months of each other. Sadly, my mom never got to meet our two middle sons, nor our biological daughter who was born a couple of years later. Yet, my mom’s passing has allowed me to understand my boys in ways I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. We are so fortunate their birth mom chose us to parent them, yet in some small way, I can identify with our boys' loss of being with their birth mom when I think about how much I miss my own mother here on earth.

Throughout the last 10 years, I have had to run to Jesus way more with parenting challenges, dealing with anger, and being stretched in allowing God to provide other people to fill the gap in wisdom since my mom is not here. As much as I miss my mom, I know I would not be as close to my Savior today if she was still here. So while I feel her loss deeply to this day, I can see the faithful work of God in my life, and this helps me to be still and know He is God.