Learn Your Love Language

October 7, 2015

Have you ever visited a foreign country? Chances were you had no idea what the natives were saying in their home language. But then suddenly from across the street, you heard someone speaking in English. You could understand it!

In his classic book The 5 Love Languages, long-time relationship counselor and pastor, Gary Chapman, claims there are 5 primary "languages" that people express love through:

  • Words of Affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken or written praise or appreciation.
  • Acts of Service: When actions speak louder than words.
  • Receiving Gifts: Giving and receiving gifts shouts "I love you!"
  • Quality Time: This isn't just "quantity;" it is expressing affection through undivided, undistracted attention.
  • Physical Touch: This can be holding hands, a hug, or even a shoulder massage. With this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch.

Just like someone in a foreign country, you might not fully comprehend someone's attempt to communicate "I love you," if they aren't speaking your "language." For instance, if you are a Quality Time person, you may not fully understand when someone is saying, "I love you" through their Acts of Service. He's doing the dishes for you, but you just wish he'd sit down and talk.

So to help your relationship, learn your love language through a simple 30-question assessment on Gary Chapman's website, then share your findings with your spouse or significant other. (And invite them to take the quiz as well.)

If you take the quiz and discover Quality Time is in your top two (or you are married to a Quality Time person), then download our "7 Super-Cheap Date Nights" Local Life Hack resource that gives you some creative ideas to spend some time together. (And even if you aren't a Quality Time person, you can still download it! 😉

Erin Bird Lead Pastor - Riverwood Church

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Riverwood Church, Waverly Iowa

We are on a mission to help people love like Jesus loved and live like Jesus lived.

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