Love Like Jesus (Mark #17)

Today we are in Mark 5:21–43 — two miracles wrapped inside each other — and I want to work through them the way an investigator would. Who. When and where. And how.

Because what I want us to see is how Jesus loves.

Mark 5:21–43

Quick context for anyone just joining us: we watched Jesus cross the Sea of Galilee through a storm, and on the far shore heal a man possessed by a demon named Legion. Now they have gotten back in the boat and returned.

“And when Jesus had crossed again in the boat to the other side, a great crowd gathered about him, and he was beside the sea. Then came one of the rulers of the synagogue, Jairus by name, and seeing him, he fell at his feet and implored him earnestly, saying, ‘My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her, so that she may be made well and live.’ And he went with him. And a great crowd followed him and thronged about him.

“And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. For she said, ‘If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.’ And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease.

“And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, ‘Who touched my garments?’ And his disciples said to him, ‘You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, “Who touched me?”‘ And he looked around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.’

“While he was still speaking, there came from the ruler’s house some who said, ‘Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?’ But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, ‘Do not fear, only believe.’ And he allowed no one to follow him except Peter and James and John the brother of James.

“They came to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and Jesus saw a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. And when he had entered, he said to them, ‘Why are you making a commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but sleeping.’ And they laughed at him. But he put them all outside and took the child’s father and mother and those who were with him and went in where the child was. Taking her by the hand he said to her, ‘Talitha cumi,’ which means, ‘Little girl, I say to you, arise.’ And immediately the girl got up and began walking (for she was twelve years of age), and they were immediately overcome with amazement. And he strictly charged them that no one should know this, and told them to give her something to eat.”

Question One: Who Did Jesus Love?

A prominent, wealthy religious leader

The first person we meet is Jairus, a synagogue ruler. That means he was prominent. In a culture ordered around religion, the religious leaders were the recognized figures. He was well respected and probably fairly wealthy.

He had also, without question, heard the skepticism about Jesus.

I have been in ministry long enough to know that Christianity has tribes. There is a progressive tribe, a Reformed tribe, a charismatic tribe, and plenty more. And every tribe has heroes and villains. You can identify them in about ten seconds — just drop the name of a well-known Christian figure. If the person lights up, you have found a tribal hero. If their brow furrows and they get uncomfortable, you have found a tribal villain. It might be a megachurch pastor, an author, a musician.

Jesus was a tribal villain to the Pharisees. We have already watched it in Mark.

In chapter 2 Jesus is teaching in a house, and friends of a paralyzed man cannot get him inside, so they climb onto the roof, tear a hole in it, and lower him down. And instead of saying “you are healed,” Jesus says, “your sins are forgiven.” And the Pharisees in that room looked at Him like He was insane. Only God can forgive sins. Who does this man think he is?

In chapter 3 He is in the synagogue on the Sabbath and heals a man with a withered hand — and they are furious. There are six other days for healing. Do not work on the Sabbath. And that chapter tells us they began plotting with the Herodians how to kill Him.

The text does not say it, but I guarantee Jairus had heard all of it.

And he has a little girl who is dying. He has almost certainly spent money on physicians who could not help. He has prayed and prayed — he is a religious leader; he has probably laid hands on her, anointed her with oil, done everything he knows to do. Nothing is working.

So despite the rumors, despite the fact that this man is a villain to his own tribe, he has also heard about the withered hand and the paralyzed man walking and all the rest. And he thinks: maybe he can heal my daughter too.

Jairus risks everything and comes to the shore. The crowd sees this respected man approaching and parts for him. And he falls at Jesus’ feet and asks Him to come.

And what does Jesus do?

Does He say, I am not helping you — you Pharisees have been gossiping about Me for months? Does He say, fine, I will come, but first you apologize on behalf of the Pharisees for everything they have said? Does He say, pay Me first, show Me some good faith so I know this is not a trap?

No. He looks at him and says: let’s go.

He loves this rich, prominent man.

And then a woman with nothing

I suspect plenty of people in that crowd thought, well of course He would help him. Everybody likes Jairus.

So notice who He loves next.

All we learn about this woman is that she has been bleeding for twelve years. We do not even get her name, which is genuinely unfortunate, because she displays remarkable faith and Jesus lifts her up. I wish we knew what to call her.

The way the text reads, she has essentially had a continuous period for twelve years. As a man I cannot pretend to know what that is like — though after twenty-six years of marriage I have worked out that women do not exactly enjoy the normal version. Twelve years without stopping. No wonder she is desperate for help.

But understand what that bleeding cost her. It made her ceremonially unclean, which meant she could not go to the temple to worship. In a culture organized around its religion, that alone pushed her to the margins. And under Levitical law she was not to be touching anyone, so she had to keep her distance from people.

Which likely means she is unmarried and childless. She is about as alone as a person could be in that society. Nobody wants to be near the unclean woman.

She is disconnected from her God and disconnected from her community, and she simply wants to be well. She has gone to doctor after doctor after doctor. Nothing has worked — in fact the text says she got worse. Her money is gone. Her health is worse. She is at the end.

And she pushes into the crowd, touches His clothes, and is healed instantly.

Does Jesus stop and say, woman, why are you interrupting? We are on our way to heal a little girl. How dare you. You should have waited and I would have dealt with you afterward. How selfish?

No. He stops. He draws her out. He praises her. He loves her in that moment.

So Jesus loves the rich, prominent man and the poor, ignored woman. He loves the father and the childless woman. He loves regardless of income, background, or story. And if you count the little girl He raises, you have multiple generations in one passage.

Jesus is for all. And if you are going to love like Jesus, you will have to love all as well.

“But there are people doing things I cannot love”

This past week one of my kids and I were reading a devotional together, and the author was working through the parable of the prodigal son. And he made this point: sometimes we confuse God’s embrace with God’s endorsement.

When the prodigal — who had taken his father’s money and squandered it on reckless living — finally comes home, the father runs down the road and throws his arms around him. But the father is not saying, you spent my money on wild living, and I am so proud of you.

Do not confuse God’s embrace with God’s endorsement.

So if Jesus is for all, you can be for all too. It does not mean you excuse everything anyone does. It means you can say: God loves you, and therefore I love you.

Question Two: When and Where Did Jesus Love?

Right here. Right now.

When Jairus shows up, Jesus does not say, I am in the middle of teaching here on the shore — could you wait until I finish and then I will come see about your girl? He does not pull out a calendar and say, we are scheduled to be in three other towns; I think I have an opening two weeks from Friday.

He says: let’s go. Now.

Now if you are observant you might object: He actually does make Jairus wait — the whole scene with the woman puts everything on hold.

Good catch. And you have just made my point stronger. Because when the woman appears, Jesus does not say, you should have checked in with Peter, he could have gotten you on the calendar. Right then. Right away. He loves her.

Which means you need to love right here, right now.

“But Jesus made Lazarus’ family wait”

Also true. Jesus was friends with Lazarus, Mary, and Martha. Lazarus fell gravely ill and the sisters sent word asking Jesus to come heal him. And the text tells us Jesus intentionally waited two full days.

Then He announces they are going, because Lazarus has fallen asleep. And the disciples say, oh, that is good news, sleep means he will recover. And Jesus has to spell it out: I am using a metaphor. He has died. And I am going to raise him. And when He finally arrives, both sisters greet Him with, “If you had been here…”

But when Jesus waited, He waited with purpose and intention.

When we wait, it is usually selfishness. We love when it is convenient. If it fits the schedule, if it is easy, if it is not too big a deal, then sure, I will help. But if it is inconvenient, if my calendar is full — sorry, can I pencil you in for two weeks out?

Jesus loves right here, right now, as He is able.

And please do not mishear me: I am not telling you to neglect self-care. A healthy you cares for others better. But I will say that too often we hide behind self-care and use it as an excuse not to show care.

If you want to love like Jesus loved, there will be moments when you set aside your preferences and your calendar and give your time and attention to a person.

Question Three: How Did Jesus Love?

The surface answer is that He healed them. True — but there is far more here than the healing.

He loved with His presence

With the woman, He stops and listens.

Have you ever talked with someone whose eyes are constantly scanning past you? They are talking to you, but clearly hunting for someone better. And you get the distinct sense that you do not really matter — you are a rung on a ladder, and they are looking for the next person to move to. It does not feel like love.

But when someone looks at you, and their body language says I am here with you, and they ask questions and actually respond — you feel like you matter. You feel valued. Loved.

That is what Jesus does for this woman. He stops an entire crowd to give her his attention. Remember she had been living on the fringes with nobody paying attention to her. The healing was life-giving — and being seen was every bit as life-giving.

And notice that this kind of listening requires patience. In our hurried world it is genuinely hard to stop and be fully present, because your mind is racing through your calendar — I need to be there, I need to do that. Sometimes love means setting that aside.

My wife modeled this beautifully when our boys were small. They loved playing video games, and when they finished they were never content to move on — they wanted to talk about the video games.

Now, my wife is deeply task-oriented, and video games rank somewhere near the bottom of her list of interests. I am not sure I have ever caught her playing a game on her phone. I have never woken in the middle of the night, found her side of the bed empty, gone downstairs, and discovered her gaming. It is simply not in her frame of reference.

And yet when the boys wanted to talk about it, she would set down whatever she was doing, stop, and listen. And then do the truly painful thing: ask questions, which of course kept the conversation going and going.

But do you know what it told our boys? I love you. You matter.

So when you are with someone, be there. Do not just listen with your ears — listen with your eyes. Ask questions. Let them know they have value. You may disagree with them about politics. You may disagree with their lifestyle. You may disagree about all sorts of things. When you are in the conversation, be in it. Love them with your presence.

He loved with affection

Read both stories and compassion is oozing out of Jesus — toward Jairus, toward the woman, toward the little girl.

Look at verse 41, in the room where Jesus allows only the parents and three disciples: “Taking her by the hand he said to her, ‘Talitha cumi,’ which means, ‘Little girl, I say to you, arise.'”

Mark wrote in Greek for Greek-speaking readers. But in daily life most people around Jesus spoke Aramaic. And here Mark makes a point of preserving the actual words Jesus said — Talitha cumi — and then translating them.

This is not a magical incantation. It is a term of affection. It is a mother or father coming into the bedroom and saying, honey, time to wake up.

When my wife and I lived in South America, our oldest daughter was born there. We were not fluent in Spanish, but we knew enough to know that adding a diminutive ending to a word conveys that something is small and also precious. A grandmother you adore becomes abuelita. So we gave our daughter a nickname built the same way, and eventually shortened it. That nickname carried all our affection — we love you, you are precious to us.

That is what is happening in that room. Little one — it is time to wake up. Rise and live.

We see it with the bleeding woman too. When He stops everything, He calls her daughter. She may well have been older than He was — and yet as God the Son, Creator of all things, He sees her as His daughter. He has affection for her.

And when the men arrive from Jairus’ house saying, sorry, she is gone, do not bother the Teacher any further — Jesus turns to Jairus with affection and says, “Do not fear, only believe.” Trust Me. Let us keep going.

He gave not just what was wanted, but what was needed

Take the woman. What she wanted was to be healed — twelve years of that, of course she did.

But what she needed was full restoration. Which is exactly why Jesus stops everything. She already has what she wanted. He knows she needs more. He knows she does not need to go on living on the fringes.

So He creates a moment where she has to come forward, and suddenly she is the center of everything. She is no longer on the margin. She has everyone’s attention. She is no longer to be ignored — she is to be noticed. And He praises her faith, lifts her up, and effectively says to the whole crowd: she has it. She understands.

Not just healing. Restoration to the community.

Or take Jairus. What he wanted was his daughter well. But Jesus knew he needed something more — he needed to know that this man was not an evil tribal villain but the Son of God, and that God loved him. He needed a clearer picture of God and His power. He needed his faith emboldened and strengthened and changed.

So Jesus gave him what he needed, not merely what he wanted.

A backyard full of trees

A couple of weeks ago I went with some guys to help with derecho relief. At the third home we came to, the homeowner had a large backyard with a lot of trees, and it was devastated. You could see he had already been working on it — we were there about six days after the storm.

He came outside, saw all these volunteers, and started to cry.

He had been out there for six days with enormous old trees down, and you could tell he had reached the point of I am never going to get this done. He was overwhelmed.

What he wanted was his yard cleared. What he actually needed was to know he was not alone. And he ended up in tears, because we gave him hope. All we did was cut branches, drag them out of the way, and start burn piles. It was not a big deal to us. It was everything to him.

So if you are going to love like Jesus loved, do not only give people what they say they want. Try to give them what they actually need.

Someone says, I need a ride to the hospital. That is what they want. What they need is a friend who stays with them all day.

Someone says, could you drop some groceries on my front step? That is what they want. What they need is for you to set them down, step back a safe distance, and start a conversation — so they know they matter.

Do what you can to understand what a person truly needs, and then meet that. Go above and beyond. That is loving like Jesus loved.

And He Does All of This for You

If Jesus is for all, then Jesus is for you.

He loves you right here, right now. And He has given you His presence — if you follow Jesus, Scripture teaches that you have been given the Holy Spirit, so God is with you constantly.

And it also means He will give you what you need, not merely what you want.

Maybe what you want is a new job, and what God knows you need is a deeper faith in Him. Maybe what you want is a spouse, and what God knows you need is to understand His love and grow an intimate relationship with Him — because He knows that intimacy with Him is what will make you a better spouse.

God loves you, so He gives you what you need.

But That Kind of Love Creates Awkward Moments

Look at the awkwardness of Jesus stopping and asking who touched Him. I guarantee He knew. He created that awkward moment deliberately, because it forced the woman to come forward — so she would not only have what she wanted, but what she needed: full restoration to her community.

And during that entire awkward pause, Jairus is standing there thinking, come on, my daughter is dying, we are going to be too late. And Jesus is essentially saying: I know what you want. What you need is a deeper faith. Trust Me. Do not fear, only believe.

So maybe right now your prayers feel like they are hitting the ceiling. Maybe it feels like God has stopped everything and is paying no attention to your need. Maybe what is actually happening is that He is moving you from what you think you want toward what you actually need.

And the reason you can trust Him in that awkward moment is the cross.

Look at the awkwardness of the cross — Jesus hanging there, stripped and bleeding. He did it because it was what we needed.

What we want in life is to be happy. Jesus knew what we needed was the forgiveness of our sins. What we want is autonomy — to be our own god, to have our own will and our own way. Jesus knew what we needed was to know God and be connected to His will and His way.

So when Jesus went to the cross, it was not to give us what we wanted. It was to give us what we needed. And that is love.

He died for all. He did it in the here and now, on this earth, as a real historical event. And He did it for you.

So Go and Love

Yes — I want you to go love like Jesus. I want you showing affection. I want you listening to people. I want you fully present with them.

But to get there, you have to stop and bask in the love God has for you. Look at the cross and the empty grave. See how much Jesus loves you and what He gave for you — and that He did it because He is for you, because He has affection for you, and because He knew what you needed before you did.

As you soak in that love, you will begin to love like Jesus.

Father, help us become lovers. Help us truly love like Your Son. Restore His image in us so that You can send us out to live like He lived and love like He loved.

This world needs You badly. There are people demonstrating and protesting right now because they do not feel seen, do not feel heard, do not feel loved — and they need to know Your gospel: that You see them, You love them, You are for them. And Your chosen agents are us.

I know the accounts of dreams You have given people in closed countries to reveal who Jesus is — and in every one of them, You then send one of Your followers to actually share the gospel. I have heard the accounts of people who reached the end of themselves, who discovered they could not drink or smoke enough to satisfy anything, and who then heard Your gospel from a person.

So help us be those people — sharing the gospel in our words, in our eyes, in our presence, in our actions.

But to get there we have to understand how much You love us. If we go out and do this from duty, or to impress people, or to build a reputation, it will fall flat and ring hollow, because we will really be doing it for ourselves. So purify our motives. Help us see Jesus and what He did at the cross, and let that be what moves us — to love the way He loved Jairus, the way He loved that woman, the way He loved a little girl, and the way He loves us. Amen.